Wanton Mistress of the Night

Looking at a random TV series, I stumbled upon this dialogue:

Guy1: When we get back I want to do it!
Guy2: Hey, I'm your man, you only have to ask!
Guy1: Parachuting.
Guy2: ...

Cas: Man I love you guys you're the best thanks for coming to visit me and everything you know i've been so lonely with only Meg for company
Dean: Shut the fuck up we want your help not your feelings
Me: GOODAMMIT SUPERNATURAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 ........
 IN THE MEANWHILE TEAM MOFFTISS.

Period time!

Me: Fuck!
Brain: Paranoia, paranoia, I LOVE paranoia!
Me: Fuck.
Brain: look, you sent that sms, still no answer, your friends must really hate you!
Me: Shut the fuck up, everyone loves me.
Uterus: I'm on strike, I will act like someone's constantly punch me!
Me: Stop it, fuck!
Uterus: nope! Trololol
Me: Fuck.
Stomach: EAT ALL THE FOOD! EAT ALL THE NUTELLA! EAT ALL THE SWEET THINGS!
Brain: I will make you argue with everyone of your family!
Me: Dammit, fuck, stop!
Feelings: Ahah, now look at that, it's hilarious! MY CREEEEYYYYSSS çAç GAAAAHHH, WTF YOU LOOKIN' AT, FUCKER?! Oh, kittens, look all this fluff, it's so cute!
Me: I want to die...

iklaintevenmad:

heyguesswatimheretostay:

lovesick4nick:

ö

When I’m an adult and have kids I will make/buy this and then ask my kids if they want some:

They’ll be all

“Um, no thanks.”

And I’m like “Are you sure?”

“Yup.”

“Positive?”

“Yes, mom.”

“Okay, then me and your father will eat it.”

And they’re all

Until I cut that bitch, then they’re all

“Oh, now you want some, right? Too bad.”

^ THIS

Parenting - you’re doing it right